Anything But This!
I hate to diet. However, it is time to diet again. I do this about once a year, and every time I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Yet, I have no choice. Every piece of clothing I have is beginning to fit tight. The only thing that separates the word diet from the word die is the letter "t".
Over the years, I have done all most every diet you can think of. I have done low-carb diets, low fat diets, no sugar diets, all fruit diets, and low calorie diets. The truth is that every single one of these diets work. I lost weight on all of them. However, after I get tired of them, I begin to gain weight.
I have absolutely no idea how much I weigh. I know I am not the biggest I have ever been. The biggest I have been is 375 pounds. I weighed that in January 2004. It took me a while to find my weight. I went all over the city looking for a scale that went up that high. I was afraid I would have to go to the grain elevator or the junk yard to find a scale that would weigh me. Then it happened, I went to visit a sick person in the hospital and realized that they would have a scale. I asked a nurse if I could weigh myself, and she walked me over to a scale. The scale only went up to 350 pounds. I told her that this one was not large enough. She smiled and said, I quote: "Oh, Well we have a scale in a room down the hall for people like you." Let me tell you something friend, when you have to go to the scale "For people like you", it is time to go on a diet.
I would say that I weigh close to 350 pounds. I do not want to get any larger. The problem I have right now is that I have absolutely no ambition to diet. So this is what I am going to do. I am going to eat three meals a day. I am not going to eat sweets, and I am not going to snack. I do not know if this will work, but I think it is the best I can come up with now. I am not ready to give up bread. I am not ready to give up meat. So this is the new plan. I am going to eat meals.
You never know, maybe I have come up with something. You eat when you are supposed to, and what you are supposed to, and nothing else. It sounds crazy, but maybe it will work. I will call it the Bigrevcoop Diet. Maybe if I lose the weight I can get on Oprah. I know if I cry with Oprah my book will make me a fortune. So here is to healthy eating. Maybe Dunkin can make a doughnut that is good for you.
Over the years, I have done all most every diet you can think of. I have done low-carb diets, low fat diets, no sugar diets, all fruit diets, and low calorie diets. The truth is that every single one of these diets work. I lost weight on all of them. However, after I get tired of them, I begin to gain weight.
I have absolutely no idea how much I weigh. I know I am not the biggest I have ever been. The biggest I have been is 375 pounds. I weighed that in January 2004. It took me a while to find my weight. I went all over the city looking for a scale that went up that high. I was afraid I would have to go to the grain elevator or the junk yard to find a scale that would weigh me. Then it happened, I went to visit a sick person in the hospital and realized that they would have a scale. I asked a nurse if I could weigh myself, and she walked me over to a scale. The scale only went up to 350 pounds. I told her that this one was not large enough. She smiled and said, I quote: "Oh, Well we have a scale in a room down the hall for people like you." Let me tell you something friend, when you have to go to the scale "For people like you", it is time to go on a diet.
I would say that I weigh close to 350 pounds. I do not want to get any larger. The problem I have right now is that I have absolutely no ambition to diet. So this is what I am going to do. I am going to eat three meals a day. I am not going to eat sweets, and I am not going to snack. I do not know if this will work, but I think it is the best I can come up with now. I am not ready to give up bread. I am not ready to give up meat. So this is the new plan. I am going to eat meals.
You never know, maybe I have come up with something. You eat when you are supposed to, and what you are supposed to, and nothing else. It sounds crazy, but maybe it will work. I will call it the Bigrevcoop Diet. Maybe if I lose the weight I can get on Oprah. I know if I cry with Oprah my book will make me a fortune. So here is to healthy eating. Maybe Dunkin can make a doughnut that is good for you.
posted by Foundes Community Church @ 6:38 PM
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